Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Governor Hackzine Defends Hackget on Hackpike and in Ho-Hack-Us

Hackton, New Hacksey - Governor Hackzine vigorously defended his proposed FY 2010 hackget yesterday while driving along the Hackpike at speeds up to 90 mph. Unfortunately, reporters could only catch every third word: "This hackget makes...tough but unavoidable....Unless there are...some state hacks...furloughed then rehired...in the future," he commented near exit 16W.   

Our reporter later spoke with him in Ho-Hack-Us, where police stopped him for driving 75 mph in a 35 mph zone. "Look, it's simple. I know times are tough," speaking through the driver's side window while police checked his license and registration. "However, I have a state payroll to make. For example, my Office of Hackget Management Director, Charlene Hackbaur, makes over $100,000 per year, excluding hackefits.  There are two other Hackbaurs on the state payroll near $100,000. Now, I don't know if they are related or not but that's not the point. The point is: how can I increase their salaries, hackefits, and perks if I don't take from taxpayers? It's impossible. That's one reason why I want to eliminate property tax deductions: it will give me more money to play with. Now, sorry, but I need to go - I'm late for an appointment and I hate to rush."




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